Engraved on the Palm of His Hands

I just came upstairs from our first regular dts class.

To sum it up- 

I sat on the floor, weeping, crying louder than I ever have before tears of brokenness and healing.

People prayed for me and each other, some of them fell to ground, some laughed.

God began healing me in places I had pushed so deep inside of myself that I didn't even realize had been hurting for so long. 

I can hear Him again. I want so much more. 

This verse came to me from two separate times this morning and it has some of the most beautiful words I've ever been told-

"I will not forget you. 

See, I have engraved you on the palm of my hands." Isaiah 49:16

What God showed me, was that to hear Him, I have to be honest with Him... and myself.

I had to be okay with saying, 

God I don't know if I love you.

But what I do know is that I want to.

God I'm not happy with my life. I wish I was making a difference. I wish I trusted you.

But I know you can help me to know you- to trust you,

I know you can use me to make a difference in the world. But first I need you to heal me, and to show me who I am. 

He changed my heart because I finally showed it to Him and I am falling in love with Him again.

Oh and on my way upstairs to write this- there was something in my mailbox.

The Ordinary Radicals movie. 

:-) :-) :-)